Giving Thanks

Every year as Thanksgiving approaches, I have mixed feelings. Not about the giving thanks part. It's just that I'm something of a procrastinator, a very BAD planner, and a lousy housekeeper. And I have ankle issues. Talo-calcaneal coalition, for those of you who like big words. In little words, it just means my feet hurt a lot, especially when I stand on them all day in the kitchen. Or anyplace else, for that matter.

On Monday, my friend Judy asked me what we were doing for Thanksgiving. "Sheesh," I told her. "That's not until Thursday." She smiled. I haven't known her very long, but she's already figuring me out. Planning is painful. I'd rather just work things out as I go along. Life so rarely cooperates with plans, why go to all the trouble of making them when you're probably going to end up winging it anyway?

But some things are simply not optional. So Wednesday morning I got up and made my plans. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done. They went something like this:

• Go to chemistry class.
  
• Go to store.
  
• Buy lots of food.
  
• Compel (beg, if necessary) someone to unload car.
  
• Put food away.
  
• Rest.
  
• (Thursday) Cook food.
  
• Excavate dining room table.
  
• Eat.
  
• Put away leftovers.
  
• Rest.
  

I text-messaged the kids. "Text me your favorite Thanksgiving foods." Delegation is an important skill.

Of course, instead of attending my chemistry class I ended up getting only halfway to school before turning around and going back to the house and then all the way out to Cornelius to take Jeff his socket set so he could change the tire that had blown out on the truck two hours earlier. Who knew the lug wrench that came with it wasn't the right size? Or that two different roadside assistance guys wouldn't have the proper tools either? And, you see what I mean about plans? (Jeff's certainly weren't going well!)

By the time I got to WinCo, the kids had text messaged me various components of what actually ended up being a complete Thanksgiving menu, and all I had to do was locate all of the proper ingredients. Which wasn't as easy as it sounded, due to the massive throngs of people crowding the aisles of WinCo. Apparently I'm not the only procrastinator in town.

I found myself wishing briefly that the pilgrims could have just settled for a simple picnic lunch. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, maybe, with chocolate milk. For dessert, s'mores, toasted over the campfire.

But now that it's all over, the food's put away and the dishes are mostly washed and the moaning about overfilled stomachs has subsided, I find myself feeling thankful even for the long day of cooking. In addition to the obvious, that we have the luxury of being able to enjoy a little abundance occasionally, with a table to eat around and a roof over our heads, it's fun having a grown daughter to giggle with in the kitchen while we cook. And rewarding, to cook for boys who've been out on their own for a while. I can remember when getting the food IN them was the biggest challenge of all. That's sure not a problem any more! The banter around the table, of siblings finally old enough to actually like each other, makes a Mom's heart glad. And spending a whole day with family and special friends - no work, no classes, no studying - is a nice change of pace.

I'm happy. I have a lot to be happy about. Life is good.

And I won't need to cook again for at least three days. Hey, maybe the pilgrims had the right idea after all.

Modernized Prejudice

I'm taking an anthropology course this term, called Intercultural Communication. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it's turned out to be really interesting. I thought, having grown up in Japan and living in as many places as I have, that I was pretty culturally aware. But, as usual, there's always more to learn.

This is something I wrote for my class, about a questionnaire that was supposed to tell us how biased we are against homosexuals. At the end, the authors had listed the score rankings in terms of how "homophobic" our answers indicated us to be. That just didn't sit well with me, and in this essay, I attempted to explain why.

The word "homophobic" in the bias questionnaire really jumped out at me. Lorene and Tiffany and I agreed that it seemed harsh, but I had to ponder on it for a while to really understand my feelings about it and where they were coming from. What I have realized is this.

If our goal is to become more culturally sensitive, to accept the differences between us and others, then it is necessary that we apply those standards to *everyone*. Otherwise we are only reshaping our biases to fit into a more socially acceptable format, and that's not really cultural sensitivity; it's just modernized prejudice.

50 years ago, it was socially acceptable for white people to hate black people. If a white person dared treat a black person as equal, he was violating the popularly-held standards of society and risking becoming an outcast himself. Today it is socially acceptable for white people to accept black people as equals, and to not do so is to violate the popularly-held standards of society, and again, risk becoming an outcast. This in itself does not indicate a lessening of bigotry. It just indicates that our bigotry has shifted. It's still okay to hate one group and not another; we've just switched the target groups around.

If we REALLY truly intend to be culturally sensitive and accepting of others, then I think that means we have to discard our predjudicial attitudes against ALL others -- not just those who it is currently popular to be accepting of. If labeling is wrong, then it is wrong to label ANYONE, not just those currently in the spotlight of public opinion.

The word "homophobic" is a label. It is derogatory and disrespectful of what others may feel entirely because of their cultural background, which makes it culturally insensitive. Although it's a popular way to be culturally insensitive, if we really believe what we're talking about in this course, then it's still cultural insensitivity.

Even saying someone is "a little bit homophobic" is harsh. There's no such thing as "a little bit phobic." You can't be a little bit dead, or a little bit pregnant, and you can't be a little bit phobic. Phobia is a strong, irrational, disproportionate fear triggered by the unconscious. It's a psychological illness. If someone comes from a cultural background that, because of religious or moral reasons, or simply unfamiliarity, makes it more difficult for them to be comfortable with homosexuality, then they are naturally going to be uncomfortable. That doesn't mean they hate homosexuals, nor does it mean they have psychological problems. They don't deserve to be labeled "homophobic," especially by a survey in which they are attempting to explore their feelings in an honest and open way.

My husband's best friend is a man named Earl McDonald who he worked with in the Air Force. Earl is one of the wisest people I've ever known. He's six foot ten, black, and has a voice that comes out of the depths of the earth somewhere -- deep and rumbling. (He was, at one time, a Mandarin Chinese linguist. I have a very hard time imagining Mandarin being spoken in that voice!)

Earl says that everyone is inherently prejudiced. It is human nature, it is how we are made. He says that being prejudiced isn't what matters, what's important is what we DO with it.

It's not always going to be popular not to be prejudiced against someone. There is always going to be a bias in society against certain groups. But I don't think that popular opinion makes it okay to be prejudiced against those groups. I think that to be fair, we have to be fair to EVERYONE. Not just those it is easy or popular to be fair to.

There's my two cents for today. :)

-Ruth

Just When You Thought You Were Finally Safe...

Another rerun... sorry, nursing school is HARD!!! I'll write something fresh just as soon as I can spare a few brain cells, I promise. Meanwhile... This essay was written as a followup to the essay Valuable Information for my Family and Friends, concerning how to protect yourself from alien abductions. Enjoy.

Darn. It turns out that the thought screen helmet isn't going to be enough, folks -- sorry about that. Not only do we have to worry about aliens invading our brains, but apparently there's also the more local problem of electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. Unfortunately, Velostat is ineffective against the government's brain scanning and mind reading technology. So even with our new thought screen helmets securely duct-taped to our heads (because aliens do not have the manual dexterity required to remove them then) we are still at risk of subversion and mental enslavement!

So, don't put away your tools just yet, because you're also going to need an A.F.D.B. (Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie). You will find comprehensive instructions at this website.

(Note: although an AFDB is actually adequate protection against alien psychotropic mind control, unlike Velostat it does not seem to interfere with the electromagnetic field used for levitation; so you will probably want to use both materials in order to ensure total protection.)

Incidentally, it seems that although alien abductors seem primarily concerned with invading human minds, the government is equally interested in intruding into the minds of our pets, who are rendered even more vulnerable than ourselves due to their less developed sense of "self". So you will need to purchase enough aluminum foil to make beanies for your beloved pets as well. Pregnant women should also begin covering their bellies with foil before their second trimester, to "ensure that harmful psychotronic engrams are not permanently stamped into the developing brain of your unborn child."

Another item worthy of mention is that tin may not be as effective as aluminum foil, so you will want to be certain that you are using genuine aluminum foil to protect yourself and your loved ones, as explained in this website exerpt:

"Most experts agree that tin does have an effect but opinions are divided as to whether or not it is as good as aluminum. A small, but vocal, contingent even argues that tin is superior, but they are held by most to be the lunatic fringe of Foil Deflector Beanie science. I would advise people wishing to build a Deflector Beanie to stick with aluminum whenever possible since it is a proven technology."

We certainly wouldn't want to be considered members of the lunatic fringe of foil deflector beanie science, so let's stick to what's tried and true!

Those of you who are Amiga and Linux users can also benefit from the additional protection of the MindGuard psychotronic mind-control protection software, which you can find here. According to the website,

"MindGuard works by leveraging your computer's aluminum-based innards to both detect and emit psychotronic energy using advanced quasi-quantum techniques. Once a mind-control signal is identified and analyzed, MindGuard can generate a specially tuned anti-signal that will jam the incoming signal. If MindGuard is unable to properly identify the signal, it will generate psychotronic white noise to ensure the signal's harmful message is scrambled."

And a final note: Be sure to construct your own AFDB. Although commercial versions are apparently available, the official AFDB information website advises,

"Do not purchase these pre-made AFDBs, even if the seller seems trustworthy. They may contain backdoors, pinholes, integrated psychotronic circuitry or other methods that actually promote mind control."

Sheesh. Seems you just can't trust ANYBODY, these days!

See also:

Valuable Information for my Family and Friends

More on Alien Abductions

We Interrupt This Program...

In case you have been wondering where ToastyFrog has been for the past couple of days, we were victimized by Verizon and friends. Again. Greystork, who generously hosts my blog because my webserver is too ancient to properly handle it and I'm too busy studying to learn to use Apache so I can build myself a new one, is switching his DSL service from Verizon to SpeakEasy. Neither of whom, apparently, can read a calendar.

First, Verizon disconnected his service a day early. So he waited patiently (which, to tell the truth, is something he's not quite as good at as when I first knew him... maybe he's turning into an American!) for an entire day without Internet service. And then, frustratingly enough, another one.

When he arranged all of this over a month ago he told SpeakEasy, his new provider, that his job depends on his ability to telecommute so he needed to make sure he got the connecting and disconnecting done in a timely manner. Of course, they totally understood, and they made sure to schedule it all properly, 'way in advance, so that it would go without a hitch. "Properly," in this case, and "without a hitch," being apparently somewhat loosely defined as "within a month or so of when your Verizon disconnect occurs." Because it seems they aren't planning to turn his service on until December 1.

Everything is set up and ready to go. There's just a little switch that needs to be moved to the proper position to activate the DSL connection that's already in place. I guess that these highly trained little-switch-moving technicians are in great demand. A whole month in the planning, and still it's going to take a whole 'nother month to move the little switch that makes the electrons start tumbling down the waiting, empty pipe into Greystork's house.

So we did some crawling around in the attic and rearranging of cables and furniture and such, totally disrupting poor Eilonwy's bedroom in the process, and now Greystork's server lives here too. Which doesn't solve his telecommuting problem, but at least now his e-mail is within a couple of miles of him, instead of stuck out there in the ether somewhere with no place to land.